You don’t love yourself. That’s what God told me. I was confused. Like, wait a minute God, I take care of myself, I eat healthy, I have ups and downs like everyone else but I honestly felt like I truly loved myself. One morning, I was called out of bed to read the Bible and pray. Chapter Psalms 51 stood out; is David’s prayer for restoration. I realized that I hadn’t truly healed from some things in my life, which lead to me reflecting on my past. Psalm 51:2 (KJV) says:
“Completely wash away my guilt and cleanse me from my sin.”
So many situations suddenly rushed over me and I’m seeing memory after memory of the things that I’ve done. I realized that for me, if I had truly loved myself, I wouldn’t have dressed the way I did, talked the way I did, or other things like put myself in certain situations. I would have carried myself differently. I realized that I had spiraled into a place where I didn’t even recognize who I was.
In today’s world, loving yourself often gets tied to the idea of treating yourself—self-care Sundays, shopping sprees, spa days, and all those little indulgences that bring temporary happiness. While taking time for yourself can be a beautiful thing, loving yourself in Christ goes far deeper than pampering. It’s about how you carry yourself, how you treat others, and how you reflect Christ’s love in your daily actions.
True self-love in Christ is about a heart transformation that shapes not just how you feel, but what you do, despite how you feel. Psalm 51:10 says,
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
This verse beautifully captures the essence of seeking God’s renewal and learning to love yourself in a way that honors Him. I have thought about 3 main points of what it truly means to love yourself in Christ and how it transforms every aspect of your life.
1. Loving Yourself in Christ Is About How You Carry Yourself
The way you carry yourself speaks volumes about the kind of love you have for yourself in Christ. It’s not about being perfect, but about walking confidently in who God has called you to be. Loving yourself means recognizing your value as a child of God, created with purpose and worth beyond measure.
What This Means:
- Confidence in Christ: It’s not about arrogance but walking with a humble confidence that comes from knowing you are loved by God. It’s embracing your identity in Christ rather than seeking validation from the world.
- Modesty and Grace: Carrying yourself with grace, modesty, and self-respect reflects the inward transformation God is doing in your heart. It’s a quiet confidence that shines without having to shout.
Psalm 51:10 reminds us to seek a renewed spirit. When you ask God to create a clean heart within you, it changes how you see yourself and how you carry yourself daily. You begin to walk in the assurance that you are enough in Christ, and that’s the foundation of true self-love.
2. Loving Yourself in Christ Shows in How You Talk to People
Loving yourself in Christ extends beyond how you treat yourself—it shows in how you speak to others. Your words have the power to build up or tear down, and as Christians, we are called to speak life, grace, and truth into the lives of those around us.
Key Points:
- Words of Encouragement: A heart that loves itself in Christ naturally encourages others. When you know who you are in Christ, it’s easier to lift others up, rather than compete or compare.
- Gentleness in Conversation: Being gentle with your words, even when you’re frustrated or hurt, reflects Christ’s love within you. It’s about choosing kindness, patience, and understanding, even when it’s difficult.
- Speaking with Integrity: Loving yourself in Christ means being honest and trustworthy. It’s speaking with integrity, keeping your promises, and letting your yes be yes and your no be no.
Psalm 51:10 reminds us that we need God’s constant renewal to speak words that align with His heart. By asking God to renew your spirit, you can use your words to bring life, healing, and encouragement, not just to others but also to yourself.
3. Loving Yourself in Christ Is Reflected in How You Treat Others
One of the most powerful ways to love yourself in Christ is by how you treat others. It’s not just about being kind when it’s easy but choosing to act with love, grace, and forgiveness, even when it’s hard. This is the true test of loving yourself in a Christ-like manner—doing what’s right, regardless of how you feel.
Practical Ways to Show Christ’s Love:
- Forgive Freely: Holding onto grudges or resentment weighs down your spirit. Loving yourself means freeing your heart from bitterness and choosing to forgive as Christ forgave you.
- Serve with Humility: Loving yourself in Christ also means serving others with a joyful heart, not out of obligation but out of love. It’s about putting others before yourself and seeking ways to be a blessing.
- Extend Grace and Mercy: Treat others with the same grace and mercy that God shows you daily. It’s a reflection of your own renewed heart and a powerful testimony of God’s work in your life.
Psalm 51:10 is a powerful reminder that loving yourself in Christ requires a heart that is constantly being renewed and purified by God. When you ask God to renew you, it empowers you to love others well, even when it’s not easy.
4. Loving Yourself in Christ Means Choosing to Do What’s Right, Despite How You Feel
True self-love in Christ isn’t about doing what feels good in the moment—it’s about making choices that align with God’s will, even when your emotions try to pull you in a different direction. I feel like yelling and cursing back at this person, but I know God wouldn’t want me to do this. We should focus on being Christ-like in your actions, not just your intentions.
Actions Speak Louder Than Feelings:
- Consistency Over Comfort: Sometimes loving yourself means doing the hard things—praying when you don’t feel like it, showing up when you’d rather stay home, or speaking kindly when you’d rather not.
- Obedience to God’s Word: Loving yourself in Christ means aligning your actions with His Word, even when it’s countercultural or inconvenient. It’s choosing righteousness over convenience.
- Living Out Your Faith: Your love for yourself in Christ is demonstrated in how you live your faith daily. It’s not just about attending church on Sunday but being the church in your actions, words, and heart every day.
Psalm 51:10 calls us to a deeper level of love—a love that asks for God’s renewal, not just for our own sake but so that we can live out His love authentically. It’s about letting His love guide our decisions, even when our emotions try to lead us astray.
Love starts deep within my heart; far beyond surface-level self-care. Truly loving myself meant upholding myself to a standard that I would be proud of. It’s a deep, ongoing process of heart transformation that impacts how you carry yourself, how you speak to others, and how you live out your faith.
For me, it’s treating people in a way that would make Christ smile and doing it out of the goodness of my heart without expecting anything in return. It’s aspiring to be the best version of myself as possible and as 1 Corinthians 16:14 says, “ Let all that. you do be done in love.”
Love, Nilsa
